When people are diagnosed with HIV, who think that life is over, no one loves them, or are damaged goods. After the initial shock and fear disappear, it can take years to re-enter the dating scene, so I'll try to explain how to start dating again, if you are HIV positive. I was diagnosed with HIV 22 years ago, April 15, 1987, the Tax Day. The place was 1600 Pacific Coast Highway in San Diego, California, which became the center of the health authorities of San Diego. In these days about HIV diagnoses was a fire of the death penalty, with perhaps 1-2 years to live, if you were lucky. There were no drugs for the treatment of HIV; still do not know what they had to do. When I was diagnosed I was handed a bundle of papers, and as the voice of the person speaking to me faded, I went into a bit if a stop humor. I got up, went out and when I arrived in the parking lot fell to his knees and began to cry. My girlfriend at the right time knelt down and held me and let me cry. She was in a bit of a shock as well. I lived in an area called normal Heights, and the gay part of town was pretty close, so I had to go to the gay community to find help and information about being HIV +. The heterosexual community was not really affected at this point, and if you had HIV and you were heterosexual, who kept his mouth shut to avoid being seen as an injecting drug user or gay. Some of the things that a person goes through when they are diagnosed with HIV are "I will never be loved again?", "Has anyone ever love me", "I'll never find someone to me make love "" have you ever had sex "," I am the trash "," damaged goods "," sick. "I mean serious issues that deeply affect the heart of the soul of people and psyche. Talking suddenly feel alone. Whoa. I went nonetheless, traveling head, questions, how do you tell someone who is HIV +, or whether this? I remember being picked up by a girl in "Billy Bones Bar", about a year after being diagnosed, we went to his car and started kissing. I had to stop and tell him he was HIV positive. At the same time, he also tried to tell him that she could not get kisses, and she had nothing to fear, but it did not really matter as it approached, I opened the door and pushed me and proceeded to take off. I remember that I asked him, "Do not forget the surgeon general brochure sent to everyone on HIV?" to which she said yes, he asked me if I had read and he said no, he did not think it was so important. I asked "Does it matter now," to which she replied yes, and left. Throughout my life as a heterosexual HIV +, I went on and off; Negative women, HIV-positive women, and I had to deal with rejection whole time. No matter how much you say you get used to it, you never really get completely on the rejection even when expected. However, I have found a way to date, a process in which the circumstances created to better promote the person who is HIV +, then you have a better chance when it comes to disclose their status is, and have the least amount of rejection during meetings. Let the other person you know before seeing the "scary monster" called HIV. The process begins when I would start out with someone, more like courting, as old school. Be a perfect gentleman, no kisses, no messing, just go out on dates and get out of here and there, leaving the person comes to know me and I know it. I let this happen for a while, weeks, maybe even months. I like to let the accumulation of stress, sexual attraction, wants and needs, whatever you want to call. But the key here is to let the person you know and you get to meet. And I do not really want to get to know this person. This is not only a good way to meet someone, but it's a good way to decide if this person is right for you in the long run. Sometimes this process may not even need to tell you that you are HIV +. You may decide that you do not want to be anywhere near that person. Ok, so after a period of time passes and the tension has accumulated so much that you feel at any time, possibly until the next time you say goodbye to leave for the night, this might be the time that something could happen, like a kiss goodbye because the tension is so great, this could be the time to decide to tell this person. If I decide that now is the right time to tell the time person, usually one day, some night with them in place is set up, and while I'm there quite a while, sometimes I say I owe them say "something." I let them know this because I think that the relationship "is going in that direction." I have felt, and it gets easier every time this happens, the rejection is never fully used. I feel, and I tell them, "I have to tell you this because I want to go in a direction that I feel happy to be addressed, but I respect and care for you, then I have tell you that I'm HIV positive. "did you also know that I'm not God (if you believe in a god), and it is your right to decide if they want to be with me, and whatever your decision, I respect this decision. You might even have some practical guide to read about HIV. I assure you that all is well, and whatever they decide, even if they decide they do not want to continue their presence in a romantic way, all is well, and respect their decision. But the key here is to let them decide. I would not insist that they need to make a decision right away, give them a little time. Once I gave my little talk, ask them if they have any immediate questions they would ask, and if not, sometimes I tell them I'll let them sit and digest what you told them, and then leave. I usually leave to bring in silence what I just told you. These days, many people are more educated than they were in 1987 and is not as difficult as it was 22 years ago, but some people are still not as educated and need time to chew on it. The key points of this process are to tell them before something happens before the kiss, certainly before sex, and never pressure them to make a decision at that time. Never mind, they have control, let them decide. They respect you more to tell them before something happens, they will respect you more if you let them decide what is good for them without pressure, and they will certainly respect you more respect. One of the emotional benefits of letting you know for a while before you tell them is that if they begin to love romantic, they are somewhat "addicted" to you, love you, want, want to be with you, it is natural that this will create a link between. It also allows them to know you as a person, not a scary monster and get them. I found, in the past, people see me, a human being, a person or entity not a threat, but as soon as these letters are available here: HIV over my mouth to stop seeing the person and begin to see the scary monster that is out to kill them. Note that, as I said it's more in the past because people tend to be more educated than they were 22 years ago. Once created romantic energy between you two will go much easier to say that you have HIV if you tell them on their first date. Believe me, I know I did for 22 years and I've had my share of rejection and acceptance. Now I have a wonderful girlfriend who I intend to marry in the near future and an old beautiful and healthy 10 month with her, who is also HIV negative child. One last thing I want to play, if you are someone who is HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy activity), and his viral load is undetectable, it's lucky for you, because studies show since 2000, anyone with a viral load below 1500 copies or undetectable, is not likely to transmit HIV to their partners. These studies were performed by many renowned medical centers and hospitals such as Johns Hopkins, just Google "The report on HIV Hopkins - May 2000" and should view reports which I speak this reason that I have. a girl of 8 months now which is negative. it is thanks to medical advances in recent years with HIV that allowed people like me to live a normal and happy life. I hope this information helps another person, or even more recently been diagnosed with HIV.
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